Close Call

Having a near death experience is certainly interesting and puts things in perspective.  I could have been gone from this world about 11:45 am today.

I jog between 5 and 9 miles a day around my small town.  It’s my way of tricking myself into exercising.  It only takes 20 minutes to jog to work, 10 minutes to jog to the post office or store.  As per Oklahoma law, I jog facing oncoming traffic, ostensibly so that I can jump out of the way in time if a car gets too close.

Today about 11:45 I was making my normal jog to the post office.  I looked up and one of my 17 year old daughter’s classmates was driving toward me in his pickup.  I thought he was playing “chicken” as 17 year olds are wont to do.  By the time I saw that he was reaching across his truck for something and didn’t see me, it was too late for me to take evasive action.  

For his sake and mine, he looked up just in time.

Maybe we should  heed the advice of  Tim McGraw and ,”Live Like You Were Dying.”  Sky diving is in my near future.

Doggy Lessons

My dogs often teach me lessons.  Or rather God uses dog moments for teaching.

This morning I spent 3 hours cleaning my car so that a couple who requested to use it could take it to prom.  As I was adding the finishing ArmorAll touches my dog Maggie jumped in the car.

I often take Maggie in the car.

I’m sure she thought it was just another day and couldn’t figure out why I subsequently threw a conniption fit and pulled her from the car.

How often in a circumstance that previously God was all over the yes do we come up against a wall and we’re like “God why are you throwing a conniption fit and throwing me out of the car?  Last time you let me ride in the car and opened the window so that I could stick my head out and let my jowls drool all over the place.”

You know what Maggie did.  She kinda hunched her shoulders and went in the door to the house and laid down and slept.  She trusts me enough that she can believe that I know best in that situation.  She doesn’t sit around and sulk and try to figure out if I don’t really love her anymore.

When

When did it happen? I can’t pinpoint. I remember a time in my life when I had no doubt that I was smart and athletic and beautiful and that I could conquer all.

When did I lose that? I know it was somewhere after fifth grade.

Until fifth grade I could outrun everyone in every race (even all of the boys). The presidential physical fitness award was a breeze. I could learn any concept in any subject and retain it. Even though I was the freckle-faced red head that everyone called Carrot Top, I still felt beautiful.

Why, by the time I was a senior in high school, did I find myself at the fifty yard mark after a great start in the 100 yard dash at State in front of the girl whom I knew was the fastest in the state and have the thought,” I’m not supposed to be in front” and slow down because I no longer believed I was the fastest?

When. When. When.

I’ve only recently begun to rekindle that belief. I am smart. I can understand any and all concepts and retain them. I am beautiful. I am athletic. I can conquer all…

20-6

Last fall in the class B state championship semifinal football game, our Laverne Tigers, who had hardly been challenged all year, found themselves down 20-6 to a well-coached RejoiceChristian team.

All I could think all through half time was, “We’ll find out what they’re made of now.”

We did find out what they were made of–they came back and won 30-20 and ended up Class B state champs for the second year in a row.

This morning on my birthday a little over a week after my husband died, I heard…”We’ll find out what you’re made of now.” It’s 20-6 with a half to go.

Don’t Be No Love Sick Puppy

Don’t Be No Love Sick Puppy

During prophetic worship this morning God came forth with the following:

Don’t be no love sick puppy, standing at the door with the ball in your mouth waiting for me to throw it–so you can perform for me. Just wagging your tail, wagging your tail. Don’t be no love sick puppy.

And I said, well God, if that’s not how you what me to be then please teach me.

And He said,”Be yourself. Al I ask is that you be yourself. I made you to be you. You don’t have to be anyone else. Don’t try to be someone else. That’s all I Ask of you. Be yourself. The world needs the you you are. “

Realize

2014 is a Time to Realize

For quite some time, God has been speaking to me that all we have to do is realize–realize who we are in Him. We don’t have to long for something outside of ourselves. We just have to realize and walk in what we already have–the fullness of the Godhead living in us.

12-29-2013

As I was worshipping this morning, Peter, James, and John’s trip with Jesus up on the mount of transfiguration in Luke 9:28 came to mind. I had always wondered about Peter’s plan to build three tabernacles on that spot at that time.

God immediately interrupted in a cloud and said “This is My Son. Hear Him.”

Because God immediately interrupted, I had always thought that Peter’s idea to build tabernacles was not what God wanted. That Peter was wrong.

This morning God spoke to me that Peter wasn’t wrong. He just didn’t have full revelation, yet.

Not too much later in Acts 5 people brought the sick to Peter so that if just his shadow fell on them they would be healed.

On the mount of transfiguration, Peter didn’t have the revelation that he was the tabernacle. He didn’t need to build something outside of himself.

By Acts 5, he had gotten the revelation that he was the tabernacle.

Jesus said, “The kingdom is within you.” We are the tabernacle.

We just have to realize.

Roses

Roses
For reasons that I can’t articulate, when I was growing up I got the impression from my Mom that roses were extremely hard to grow. I don’t remember having a conversation with her about it but well into my adult life I thought that roses were beyond my ability to grow.
I recently asked my sister and her impression was the same.
For other reasons that I don’t know, when I was in my forties I planted a rose bush and have since planted more. Roses are, in actuality, one of the easiest plants for me to grow.
I don’t know why my Mom had such a hard time with roses. Maybe growing up in the Texas panhandle with inadequate water in the sweltering summer gave here difficulty with roses.
Maybe her Mom told her that roses were hard to grow and she never tried.
What other things do I think are too hard or impossible and because I think they are too hard or impossible they are indeed?

Waffle House

Waffle House 8-17-2013
On Saturday morning of the State of the Union Conference, I awoke early, as usual, and headed in my car to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. On the way to Cracker Barrel I passed a Waffle House and against may better judgement listened to the Voice of God when He told me to flip a U-ey and go to Waffle House.
From past tales of others who have eaten at Waffle House I knew that God didn’t send me there for the food. 
As I pulled up to Waffle House, there were a couple of women dancing and as I kidded around with them I realized that as I was beginning my day they were ending their previous day. Fun women who brightened my morning.
As I say, I knew God didn’t send me to Waffle House for the food but I ordered after about 30 minutes when someone got around to taking my order. After another 25 minutes, the eggs, toast, and tomatoes part of my order showed up, but when I left about 15 minutes after that my bacon and waffle were nowhere to be seen. (May I interject? The name is Waffle House. That’s the only reason I ordered a waffle in the first place.)
However… I knew that God didn’t send me to Waffle House for the food.
So, I sat there with a smile and checked Facebook and read a piano/keyboard manual I had with me and waited for God to reveal why, indeed, He had sent me to Waffle House.
I observed that there were conscientious, hard-working people at Waffle House who would like nothing better than to serve me fresh, hot, excellent food in a timely manner. At one point, there were so many people working so hard that they almost tripped over each other. However, after over an hour I left without my desire for bacon or waffles having been satisfied.
What they were lacking was systems.
How often does my office look like Waffle House?
How often do we work as hard as we can and still a patient leaves with an unmet need after having waited an inordinately long time?
My new goal is to Waffle House people as little as possible.
Post script–My immediate goal, however, is to pray like the dickens that the undercooked eggs don’t give me salmonella poisoning. Making a demand on God that because He told me to go to Waffle House, He will protect me.
Post post script–Not all of the other customers in Waffle House were there at God’s direction apparently. They weren’t as patient and forgiving as I.

The Penumbra

While considering a name for my blog I happened upon the word, penumbra. Having recently read and thoroughly enjoyed Robin Sloan’s book, “Mr. Penumbra’s 24 Hour book Store”, I was intrigued to learn that penumbra was an actual word.

Penumbra, from the Latin, paene, (almost) and umbra, (shadow).

The penumbra, astronomically, is the region around a celestial body in which only a portion of the light source is obscured by the occluding body.

The penumbra, medically, is an area surrounding an ischemic event in which the cells may remain viable for several hours. The existence of a penumbra implies that salvage of the cells is possible.

Hence, penumbral love. A love through which the Source can be seen and through whom there is hope. A love that never gives up. A love that believes the best in everyone. A love that embraces all.

Those Who Love

If I were to blog, something to this effect would be my first:

i have recently come to the realization that the only thing that I want to be associated with is love.

At times in my life I have identified with many groups–political, religious,occupational, educational, etc. groups.  Groups that for the most part strive to be fair,  honest,and good while doing the best they can with the knowledge they have at the time to better our world.

But at times groups can be unkind, vengeful, and may I say downright nasty to people who believe differently. What change will that bring about other than to more deeply entrench the opposing belief in others?  

So, my new group is “Those Who Love”.  If what I believe can’t be expressed in love, was it the truth to begin with?